As I recall, last Friday approached, and I was as happy as a June bug. That means it was time to have a good time. Now check the archive and follow that I stated I was preparing for a funky good time on my last post. I never suspected that Friday was going to be a fart and the entire weekend would just be plain ol’ funky. Now people often say when it rains it pours. I try not to believe in negativity, but when negative things happen, tell the universe to knock it off. Then be ready for the good things to feel really good since everything has been so bad.
Here’s what happened:
Friday…
Girl leaves work hungry and goes to cafe.
Girl gets to cafe and locks keys in car.
Girl’s android phone dies 7 minutes later.
Girl needs charger but only iPhone users are present.
Girl has 2 minutes to use stranger’s iPhone to call lock smith.
Girl gets charged $90 for locksmith.
Girl walks to atm to get cash.
Girl watches service man jimmy into her car in a matter of seconds.
Pause: $90 for a 17 second service? Are you kidding me?
Girl shops at Target and proceeds to checkout.
Girl discovers she has lost her debit card.
Pause: Are you kidding me? How did I lose my card? WTF?
dot-dot-dot.
Saturday sounded like this:
Girl it’s about to be a blast today. Totally. Fun. Out of Control. Paint the town! To-Tal-ly. Drinks and the festival! Hells YEA! WE SO FLY! F’ing right!
[HARD RAIN] SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Pause: How did we get caught in the rain and why does it take so long to close an umbrella when you finally have gotten most of your body in the car, except the arms that are attempting to close this damn umbrella causes half of your body to get soaked with salty rainwater that makes you ashy afterward.
dot-dot-dot.
Sunday felt like this:
Do you wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night? Has everyone around you made you feel worse than you already feel? Have all your small kitchen appliances(toaster & microwave) given up on you when you needed them the most?
The answer is yes, yes, and yes!
dot-dot-dot.
Pause: Now I have to cook everything with fire like a caveman?
Monday looks like this:
Rushing. Ready. Coffee. Baby. Bags. Keys. Phone. Out. Walking. Dog. Dog?
Pause: Why is there a f’king pitbull outside of my gate right in front of my car? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Later on this day:
Superior: Hello, thanks for covering today!
Me: It is always a pleasure! Anytime!
Superior: Would you like to come work over the summer with us?
Me: Absolutely!
Pause: Is my series of unfortunate events over?
dot-dot-dot!
-lex, until next time.
BFF THERAPY; Therapy through Best Friendship-ness 
Lol how saaaaaad